We’re resolved to getting it right this time. It’s time to correct the original mistake. It’s time to get the correct specifications direct from the manufacturer. It’s time to make time. Resolved to sitting still and waiting for the correct kit to find its way to us from wherever it takes to come from.
Pre-dawdle day: What one might suppose to be a nice simple process; check the spec, place the order, pay the tab; however, this takes a frustrating twenty-four hours.
Dawdle Day One. Now we wait out the three working day excessively expensive delivery schedule.
Dawdle Day Two: go culture vulture-ing and disappear under the city, down a tunnel dedicated to mining; meanwhile the bust bike bits have moved east from San Francisco to Memphis TN. I had to check the map just to confirm what I already knew; our package wasn’t coming by the direct geographical route, would appear that it’s grown a dog’s leg of several hundred miles already.
Dawdle-day Three: hunt out a cemetery that’s been designated a museum. Where the master mason’s professional title has been mis-translated in one brochure as: ‘pickpocket’.
Meanwhile the bust bike bits have progressed as far as Monterrey in northern Mexico. Thence to get stuck in customs.
Dawdle-day Four: Time to go off and do the unexpected. Theme parks are not our normal habitat. That oxymoronic idea, ‘a fun-ride’ – being asked to stand in a long hot queue only to be hurled around a roller-coaster, my burrito lunch threatening to make a second coming, just doesn’t appeal. Which is why we’re sitting on a bus going out of town to a ‘film-set’. Actually the film set used for so many ‘Westerns’: ‘ The Magnificent Seven’, ‘The Good The Bad and The Ugly’, ‘Comanche’, and a swath more of Hollywood’s gun slinging stereotypical celluloids. Only theme-park it is not, no helter-skelters, no roundabouts, no shooting-shies; what we do have is a performance spoof, a synopsis of the ‘ Wild West’, cowboy/Indian film. A tick list straight out of central casting. The black leather clad sheriff, the tight hair-bunn’d ‘madam’ and her bevy of ‘girls’, the bookish store keeper, the degenerate gold prospector, Butch and the Kid as the bank robbers. With the Apaches who get the best lines and the best dance routines. All are present.
As for the bike-bits, they’re still in Monterrey.
Dawdle Day Five: it’s Christmas Eve, a Mexican holiday and there’s a late evening meal planned for the hostal, for which we’ve volunteered to do the ‘postres’. Latinos like their puddings, actually they have a penchant for anything sweet, which makes for an easy solution. We could just go out and buy a gateau… a sticky confection of sweet goo topped with crystallised candies. But that isn’t ethnically Scottish. Actually, it is, but it’s not the image we’d like convey. Deep fried Snickers might work, but there’s no need to perpetuate that urban myth, so the Navigator opts for ‘Cranachan’.
All we will need is a high fat cream, fresh raspberries, pin-head oats and a bottle of Scotch. The grains and the alcohol are easy, the latter being ridiculously cheap, it’s the rest that causes issues. The fruit has already acquired a surfeit of air-miles and the best bit, the cow juice is a chemical laboratory of thickening additives. One turn of a whisk and it will turn liquid. The Navigator perseveres, the end result however, is an average imitation of ‘cranachan’.
Meanwhile our ‘bust-bike-bits’ have been on the move, now there in Mexico City! ….. 280km further away than they were yesterday.
Dawdle Day Six: Christmas Day, a day to sit in the parks and watch for all the new toys that have materialised overnight, to join the ‘paseo’ of extended families wandering the traffic-less streets and just relax. I’ve progressed onto my fourth book, which is more than can be claimed by the ‘b-b-bs’ which are still in El Capital.
Dawdle Day Seven. Promissory Day. Sitting waiting… anticipating…. suddenly package tracking has our ‘b-b-bs’ in town… somewhere. They’ve gone a staggering 4812km through several distribution centres.. had they come direct it would have been a mere 2277km. More or less. It makes for an interesting dissertation on the connectivity of a globalised world. It also leaves me with another sum: to calculate the number of cycle miles that will be required to assuage all those air-miles – and that’s only on the delivery; the original construction eco-costs will even greater.
Dawdle-Day has suddenly morphed into freneticism day; the FedEx van has delivered a box and collected the tax. The contents have met with approval and the comparisons with what has been removed only confirms the inferiority of the original build. So much for Miami’s top wheel builders. The first wheel has been dismantled and I have retreated to a safe place; my rôle is simply to feed coffee and quesadillas. The Navigator has argued successfully in favour of doing the lace work and the initial tension on the wheel herself. It’s a measure of how pissed-off she’s become with bike shops and their mansplaining condescension.
I am in awe.
My retreat is in part due to the Navigator’s assessment of my workshop skills, ones that she describes as ‘agricultural’…. if the first hammer blow doesn’t work, hit it again, only harder!
Dawdle-Day Eight: two wheels partially built, initial spoke tensions done, walk to cycle shop, negotiate the job-spec, “tensionar la rueda SOLO”, drink a coffee and panic that the mechanic will de-construct the five hours of Navigator’s construction, as ‘he’…it’s always a ‘he’, knows best.
Visit yet another museum, this time one dedicated to Pancho Villa, Mexican revolutionary and supposed ‘Hollywood’ actor who probably has more films to his name than any comic ‘superhero’. Return to collect that evening to find one wheel in the ‘rig’, work underway. Looks like we’ll be visiting another museum tomorrow.