The past is foreign country; they do things differently there.
L. P. Hartley, The Go-Between, 1953
The Navigator here again.
Long ago, in 1981 (that’s 43 years ago), we embarked on our first cycling tour, here in Norway. We’d been married 18 months, and we grabbed 6 weeks between jobs as we moved from Farnell in Angus to Tranent in East Lothian.
I was riding my brand-new Raleigh Silhouette 10-speed ‘Mixte’. It had cost £123 from King Street Bikes in Aberdeen, and boasted an amazing 10 speeds, 52/42T on the front, 14-28T on the back, with Positron shifters on the stem. She was a beautiful metallic pale green with white cabling. My first brand new bicycle. The Chronicler was riding a Carlton (remember that one, Kevin?) with similar gearing, though his had 11-32 on the back. The chap in the bike shop had made withering comments about ‘climbing trees’ with such a low gear. For those of you whose eyes have glazed over, this was gearing made for going fast on an empty bike, not grinding slowly up Norwegian hills on a loaded one.
Panniers were non-waterproof, porous, with zips. Our tent was a Vango Mk2, cotton inner, nylon outer, with a front A frame, and 15mm aluminium poles connected with springs. It also came with a plastic ‘A’ connector, that if misplaced rendered the tent usless. Our stove was a one-pint Primus which ran on paraffin. At one point we needed to acquire a ‘pricker’ for nozzle clearing, to discover the Norwegian word is ‘prikker’.
We wore cotton jeans. And cotton sweatshirts. And fabric trainers.
We took a train to Newcastle, with the bikes riding in the guard’s van, and a ferry from there to Stavanger. The fare was £13 return, and we were given a bunch of campsite vouchers too. We slept on loungers on the deck, until we were awoken by a very apologetic chap who was “very sorry but I must clean the deck”. At 5.30am.
We disembarked in Stavanger at five minutes after noon on Saturday, to find all the shops closed at midday, closed until Monday. Except that this was Whit weekend and Monday was a holiday. We did find some kind of kiosk where we could buy packet soup, dry crackers, and butter. Could have bought sealskins for skis and additives for flavouring neat alcohol… no snow, no hooch, no need.
The first two weeks we cycled around the south coast to Oslo. It rained persistently for those two weeks, and our inappropriate clothes, under ineffective waterproofs, were constantly wet. We inevitably bought the little blue wellies that everyone wore, and cycled in them.
Those little wellies are still available this morning. Black now.
We carried travellers’ cheques, and cashed them at the bank. Bought postcards and sent them home. Food was expensive, with a few exceptions. We ate a lot of bread, crackers, cheese and yogurt, porridge and pasta. Absolutely no alcohol.
The pannier zips broke, and had be fixed with needle and thread, and safety pins. The bike wheels developed wobbles. Chris crashed into a cow and bent his pedal crank; he bashed it back with a big stone and carried on.
In amongst all of this, we had a phenomenal time. We met up with our friend Rick, who was studying and working there and had some crazy times with him and his friends. Blagged our way into a midsummer’s festival claiming that all of us were Scots; perfecting that fine example of worldwide stereotyping of the mean Scot. Eating at a big table in a cabin with about 6 or 8 others while the conversation flowed in three languages – and not losing the thread. We picked blueberries and ate them with milk and sugar. We learned all about woodstoves. We ate brown cheese and fiskeboller. We visited the Frogner Park and its statues, the Viking ships, and the ‘Fram’. We drank one day’s budget on a terrifyingly expensive half litre beer on Karl Johan. We explored folkmuseums and Stavkirkes, and rode uncounted ferries. We left our bikes outside Oslo’s main railway station for several days, unlocked, and thought nothing of it. Nobody locked bikes.
We put our bikes in the care of Godsekspedition at Oslo Central Station, and met up with them again a day or two later up in the mountains. We navigated through tunnels, and diverted around them. We serendipitously came across Geirangerfjord, and made ourselves ill eating cherries in a valley where they were produced in abundance.
We slept on campsites, and we camped wild. We were eaten by mosquitoes. We got sunburned, soaked, and frozen. We pedalled through stunningly beautiful places.
I can remember names of places, but not how the couple of trains that we took linked them up. I do remember pushing my bike – a lot. And that it was unreliable when going downhill – with slightly out-of-true wheels, brakes would cause a wobble, then the frame would pick up a weird resonant frequency. Unless I was careful, I’d be thrown off. That issue was never to be resolved.
Arriving in a very soggy Bergen, and camping atop a mound while the lower parts of the campsite flooded. Watching as those with less foresight tried to dry sleeping bags with the hand dryers in the loos. (Loos with heated floors; that was new and enlightening). So smug were we.
Buying souvenirs with the last of our Norwegian kroner – a beautiful woollen blanket, which, when I recently got to thinking about it, was actually Mexican. Our Mexican souvenir of Norway.
We have no photos now of that journey – they were on 35mm slides which degraded. They were jettisoned into our wheelie bin, and in a night’s stormy wind were sucked out and ended up scattered the length of Haddington’s Market Street. The subject matter wasn’t terribly interesting either… mountains, more mountains, no people. And one complementary negative of a prospective king and his new bride in a gilded carriage with every spool of processed Agfa film. We do have our journals though, and they’ll make fascinating reading and fill in some gaps when we get home.
As we approached Newcastle, I remember a steward fiddling with a TV, trying to catch the BBC’s Royal Wedding coverage. We arrived back in the UK to find the country in paralysis, in total thrall, to that royal wedding and the delighted realisation that the trains were actually running, but the fares would be half price.
The past really is another place.